What do you think of my writing?

I've been writing for 9 years, and I'm studying creative writing and English in college right now. I think that you are putting a little too many describing words in your sentences, such as "across fields of meadows and pens". You're running your sentences too far on, and I'd you do that, readers will become uninterested very easy and very early. A book does not have to be perfect, it has to be real. So keep things proper, but at the same time, down to earth.